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Archive for the ‘Leaving and Coming Home’ Category

Cobh, Ireland
September 18, 2009:
I slip back into these places like one does with a cozy sweater or favorite book. I find myself here, lost in the colloquialisms and traditions, in tea and toasties, yet I am separate, gazing upon myself as if a voyeur. I miss it here, I will always miss it here, but [...]

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I am back again, my lads and lasses, from the Emerald Isle.
I got in last night around 9:30.
My luggage followed this afternoon, after an impromptu pleasure cruise through Detroit.
My jet-lag is behaving so far and while it sprinkles itself like lead on my eyelids, I haven’t fallen over yet.
And I have a notebook crammed full [...]

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I wish I had time to do everything. Depending on the stimuli around me and the ideas and memories in front of me, what I want to do and where I want to be changes every moment. It’s not a discontentment with where I am…only a frustration that I physically cannot be everywhere at once, [...]

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“Change is loss and loss is change.”
Rob taught on this a few weeks ago, and as I was looking through my journal, I came across it again.
I have wrestled a lot with change lately, as anyone who reads this blog can see. I have tortured myself with finding God’s will, all the while not even [...]

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It seems despite all my efforts and prayers, God has plans for me here. I still don’t know what those are, but masquerading as a sinking, unsettled feeling in my stomach, He gave me an answer.
And the answer was “Stay.”
I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to ignore it, pass it off as fear, [...]

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I spend so much time demanding so much of God. In ways, it feels like I give up on living sometimes, and just ask Him to do it all. I use my cluelessness on the matters of life as an excuse, but really, it’s not.
I’d just rather not make mistakes, or screw up, or be [...]

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Remember those giant flat wheelie-things on the playground that had a bunch of railings on them; one person would start pushing it in circles, then jump on and it would whirl around so fast that by the end of the ride, you felt like your eyeballs were in your toes, and you stumbled dizzily around, [...]

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My weekend away was better than I could have imagined; a concentrated healing balm that soothed and stretched and opened me up in many directions all at once. I wrote a lot while I was there, and here’s what came out:
***
It feels so strange to be this alone. Turning off my phone, turning off the [...]

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In reading through the Bible, the willingness to follow is astonishing. Whether it’s an Old Testament prophet following God into the wilderness, or a disciple taking up the yoke of their rabbi, Christianity has always been a faith of, well, faith. It has always been a way of life that reminds us that we are [...]

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I walked out onto my front porch this morning and inhaled deeply. The unexpected warmth of the day before was lingering in the air and perfumed it with this smell that I cannot describe. In one split second, without even having to close my eyes, I wasn’t there anymore. My fickle mind had laughed and [...]

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